Let me tell you a story of how I met the love of my life. I have always wondered what this would feel like or what he would be like when I finally meet him.
Someone I can look at and call the love of my life.
Sometimes I would wonder if he has to be someone I love or someone who loves me. I don’t know how it works. But if I have to wonder or ask it only means I have not met or seen him. Right?
I never gave up on love, though. I kept trying, hoping and never stopped looking. Then I met someone, found him or he found me.
I’ve known him for a very long time but I never see the possibility. I have no idea if I was shortsighted then or perfectly fine.
He came back after my accident, and to say I was happy would be an understatement. I was only love could survive that long.
I was grateful. He came back, that was more than enough for me. And he was saying all the right things, all I needed to hear.
I felt on top of the world, blessed, proud; someone could love me that much after all the damages my body has passed through.
It was a time I wasn’t feeling anything like my old self. Crazy or on the edge was what I would describe myself as. So, yes I needed someone or so I thought.
I wanted to give him the world. He had given me everything so I promised in my heart I’d give him all.
But I was wrong
He was wrong. He was only doing me a huge favour, so he said. And he came to settle an old grudge. That, I came to understand.
So, I fell harder than when I had a disagreement with the truck. I swear I could hear my heart pop as it burst.
If you don’t love yourself you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.
Then I saw and heard more, those things that have always been there but I was too stupid to accept.
Life suddenly became too hot and suffocating. But I can’t afford depression or worse, there are people who need me to live.
So, instead I sat down and counselled myself. What would God think of me especially with the way I’m living the second chance He gave me? Why am I doing this to myself?
My answer? Because I don’t love myself. I don’t appreciate me and see me for who I am. I had stopped loving me, my body; I didn’t appreciate my strength, courage, triumph, intelligence and my life.
My body had been through so much. Permanent injuries, depression, PTSD, anxiety; I survived them all without drugs or therapy
My body and mind had been broken, shattered, yet I managed to keep the pieces from flooding out. I am bloody but unbowed.
If I had loved myself, then I would know not to feel the need to be grateful someone looked at me. I would realise someone should be blessed to have me.
Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing.
I have had the pleasure of meeting myself and I love what I have seen; what I see. That was when I realised the love of my life has been beside me all along. Me!
I never knew falling in love with yourself could heal a broken heart. I am in love with myself and it is the best feeling ever.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romanceOscar Wilde
When you love yourself, there is this feeling of satisfaction, fulfilment, joy and peace that surrounds you.
Self love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.
It is Valentine, season of love, give yourself some. You deserve it and long overdue. Go to the SPA, fix your nails, get a new hairdo, buy yourself expensive gifts even before you get for your partner if you have one.
If you are single, you deserve it even more. Take yourself out, treat yourself to dinner. Because you know what, it takes a lot of courage and strength to be single.
Fall in love with who you are, appreciate who you were and celebrate who you are going to be. Because you have to live with yourself for as long as you live no matter who you end up with.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first.
Let the romance begin with you.