How are you doing today, honestly?
I used to see this question, “How are you?” as just a conversation starter or pleasantries some years back.
When someone says, “How are you?” You reply, “fine”, Or “I am fine” or “good”.
And from there you continue with other stuff like pleasantries, start a conversation or you just go on your ways.
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We usually don’t mind. I know I don’t use to.
This is because people don’t usually expect honest answers from “how are you”. They just want to greet you, ask a question, start conversations, gist, gossip, pry or just exchange pleasantries.
And we hardly give honest response, anyway.
Imagine, if you give honest answers to every how are you, even if it is once in a while you become a weirdo.
Some might even start avoiding you or stop asking ‘How are you?”
But, we are in the year 2020.
I do not need to expatiate on 2020 before we know what we have all gone through this year.
I am sure the thought of 2020 is enough to conjure up so many horrible things that would last for a while.
So, in the face of everything going on in the world right now, especially the coronavirus pandemic and its effects on everyone, this popular conversation starter is too lame to know how someone, anyone, is doing right now.
That is if you really care to know.
And if there is any time to truly and honestly care about one another, it is now.
Honestly, I got tired of “How are you?” eight years ago. I hated it whenever people came to see me on the bed and that was the first thing they would ask.
“Really? How am I?”
I would say “Fine”
Then I got tired of saying “Fine”
Because, I was not fine, but I didn’t think they wanted to know why I was not fine.
Would they like to know I was in hell, that I couldn’t sleep because I was too scared to close my eyes?
Or because every time I did I thought I wouldn’t survive it.
But the year 2020 has taken us beyond personal trauma, crises, or dramas. It has given us a collective problem, anger, loss, and, trauma.
We have all lost someone or something. We were hopeless, despaired, terrified at one time or the other in this year.
So many people have lost their jobs and some have had to start all over again. Some still have no clue where to begin or how to survive.
We are all one or many of all these. And it is not yet over, we are all just learning to live with it, accept, regroup, and keep going.
Right now, we should care more and really mean it when we ask people, family, friends, colleagues how they are doing.
If there is any lesson I have learnt this year, the pandemic, the lockdown, the social distancing and so on, it is that we should care more about one another than ever before.
Be sincere when someone asks how you are.
Sometimes it helps when someone knows they are not the only one going through a particular situation. Or that someone else also feels the same way as they do.
Do not freak out, get bored, sigh, or look away when someone tells you how they are doing. You asked, the least you could do is listen.
They probably need someone to talk to. And you might be saving a soul.
Be genuinely concerned about your neighbours well being. They were there when you couldn’t visit your family and friends during the lockdown.
If you were being honest, did you enjoy the social distancing?3-Layer Face Masks for Children – Skin Friendly Buy Now
Are you enjoying watching your best friend get married on Zoom? Did you enjoy dropping the gifts in their driveways because you couldn’t get close to them?
Or the thought of your kids when their friends couldn’t celebrate their birthdays with them physically?
Tell me you didn’t miss that neighbour or friend who always wants to stop to chat when you were rushing off to work during the lockdown?
Those things that seemed so annoying, irritating and waste of time, didn’t you wish you could have it for just one day while you were working from home?
How are you doing, honestly?
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