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I Shall Not Die 2

I Shall Not Die 2: A True Life Story.

This is the second part of this series. You can read the first part here.

A dark shape appeared above and blocked what little light I had left to see, and then it spoke.

“Pele Aunty, sorry, what is your name?”

“Funke. Please, help me. I raised my right hand, and he touched it.

“Calm down, I’ll help you. Your phone is dead. This is it” I couldn’t see anything. Do you know any number I can contact? I nodded.

“Okay”. I gave him my brother’s number. My dad was my first thought, but I could picture him falling apart. He would first rush to the toilet and back. Then he would go again, maybe three times before making up his mind on what to do.

“The number is not available. I tried it twice. Do you know another one?”

My tongue was getting heavier and harder to swallow. My throat was shutting down the passage to my voice box. I recited my dad’s number.

“Couldn’t he just get me out of here first before calling a family meeting?”

His voice broke into my thought. “Hello, omo yin Funke, your daughter had been hit by a vehicle at Ojoo. Can you hear me? Hello, he cut the line. I can’t reconnect with him.”

“I’ll give you another one, my mother’s.” And I did.

 “Hello, your daughter has been hit by a vehicle. Yes, she was in an accident. We are taking her to UCH now, join us there. Hello, hello, she is not responding. The line is on but she is not talking.”

“My sisters, I know my sisters’ lines too.” He called them both but they all disconnected at the mention of UCH.

“Do you know another one? Funmi, answer!

“Yes, yes— 0805—5—” it was becoming awfully difficult to speak, to think. I couldn’t remember. The number was in there somewhere, my brother-in-law’s but I couldn’t remember.

Everything was dark and hot like my head. It was too dark to see anything. I couldn’t see the rest of the number. My mind was being wrapped in a thick blanket.

I Shall Not Die 2 : A True Life Story

“Hello”, his voice hauled me back from the deep dark hole. “Someone has called back, I think it’s your father. “—ehn, meet us at UCH, your daughter had been hit by a vehicle. Yes, we are going there now.”

“I told you to calm down, I have contacted your father, he would join us at the hospital. I’m going to get a taxi now. My own broke down, but my friend is near. I’ll just call him. I’ll be back.”

I wanted to tell him not to leave me but I couldn’t see anything. So, I closed my eyes maybe the dream would fade and when I opened them I’ll be home in my bed.  

My waist kept burning, and the warm thing kept trickling.

I remember the man’s voice. Was I hit? But how? Where was I coming from? And where am I? Why can’t I remember? Did he say Ojoo? Okay, I was going to school, to UI for a lecture walking with my friends? My friends, where are they? Were they hit too? I have to ask him.”

When did I leave home? My head was too clouded to process anything. And the warm fluid wouldn’t stop trickling between my legs.

“My legs! Why can’t I move or feel my left leg?”

Then another realisation set in, the heat was coming from my leg. It was in my left leg. Now, I wanted the dream to stop. The chill was overpowering me. I was becoming the chill.

But I have to be strong, I just knew it. It was all I had to do, all I could do even as the bright light was being swallowed by darkness just like I was being swallowed by the chill.

To be Continued in I Shall Not Die 3

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A True Life Story: The Day I Took Back My Freedom

Today’s episode of Changing Lives With True Life Story is written by Deborah Hamsho.

Title: The Day I Took Back My Freedom.

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It all began so many years ago on a beautiful spring day, one year to the day that I graduated Brooklyn College.

I had been in a funk since October and Now came March.

Emerging out of my bedroom, the cocoon of a black hole of a depressive episode, I returned to my previously failed job search.

I enrolled as a Kelly girl. The Temporary office work company got me a temp job and my mother and I went clothes shopping only to find I had dropped two sizes down to a 10/12 medium. 


          Dressed in a beige pair of  slacks and a clingy muted colored top, I  entered the World Trade Center Elevator bank feeling happy.

Little did I know then that what was about to hit me was a tornado from another mother.

Gingerly entered, I pressed the 34th floor and swooshing slowly, then shakily, the car deposited three of us ,all women, into a suite of elevators.

It was the now defunct bankers trust co. I had walked into. I blissfully was unaware of the rumblings of a tsunami far out at sea. 

At lunchtime entering the employee cafeteria, a brown gentleman approached and sat down at the table near the chow line.

I ordered my food, grabbed the tray and sat down. As I passed the brown man He smiled at me.

I ate my food alone, happily gazing at my photo employee card, when the same man approached me from behind and sat down in front of me asking to join me.


I should have ran, flown, yelled, plunged, gagged, gotten away from him, if I had Only known then what I know now, 50 Some odd years later.

I was like a bug in a hotel room nearing to enter the baited “room” or roach motel as they called them.

I was a fly clinging to the silken but spiked edges of A Venus flytrap.

Falling into the precipice of attraction, amusement, and unwary of consequences of drinking the kool aid offered up to my supplicating eyes, the lips On my mouth closed against each other like prostrating monks.


Oh to be spoken to in poetry like he did, third rate sentimental hogwash written on a Winston cigarette box, a relic of my coming destruction.


This is only the prelude, The intermission consisting of a steamy day of lovemaking , just heavy kissing, in my cave, my boudoir smelling faintly of lanvin and rose talcum.

Changing Lives With True Life Stories

Since you have come this far with me, I seek to favour you with a happy ending.

I will not drag us both through the muck and mire and filthy debris left when the tsunami of our marriage hit.

Suffice it to say it was a 5 year hiatus into the illness of a depraved and sadistic mind. 


He never broke any bones, and he always rested content in the sarcophagus of his madness.

I suffered a bump in the head from a heavy glass object, was forced to clean out an intentional mound of defecation left in the bathtub as a punishment for some tribulation I put him through.


The waves kept coming until finally after 5 years we broke land and our ship crashed into the reef that held the shattered glass of our misery. 

I don’t know what the provocation for this last sad episode was, but i remember running into the hallway to escape his wrath.

He followed me and the heavy front door of our apartment locked automatically without either of us having taken the key.

We stopped and turned in horror as we both heard the siren call of our two year old child calling out in a high pitched scream,

“Mommy, mommy, mommy” I don’t recall how we got back in.

But while kneeling and speaking to my little girl who was behind the locked door, a vision of myself appeared and I saw how low I had come in my life with this man, my husband.

I was crouching down with my ear and mouth alternatively shushing and crying silently while her father sought out the janitor.


That was the day I took my freedom back. How I did it is an unnecessary detail.

But I remember the shopping cart full of his possessions next to the front door and A suicide threat written in a letter pleading with him to leave or I’d kill myself and our  child.

It worked!  

I returned home a few hours later to find that the blessed tide had sucked back into the raging sea the shopping cart with the desperately written letter tucked inside the clothing. 


So the end was happiness until the longing came back several years later.

But I won back my freedom and the rest is just another chapter to be continued God willing.

Thank you so much Deborah for trusting me with your story. Although, I can relate a little I learnt a lot.

And it also assured me that I am on the right path. And I believe many women and girls would tap from your courage and strength.

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Changing Lives With True-Life Stories

Changing Lives With True Life-Stories

True-Life Stories is one of the best tools we can use to Inspire, Motivate, Heal, and even to Save Lives.

I know when something happens to us, people around us in their efforts to console and comfort us they make use of examples of people who have been in such situations before especially those that triumphed at the end.

We make use of true-life stories to comfort mostly so that this new person who suddenly finds herself in a situation she has never been in before can know that they are not alone.

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So, Changing Lives With True Life Stories has been the main focus of this blog. Although, I have been sharing my stories alone. For Instance, “I Remember” is a true account of what happened on the morning of the day of my accident

Most of the others have been moments, A Day in My Life, My Life As An Unbalanced Mom or just using the things I have been through as illustrations in my posts. they are all true-life stories or accounts.

Now, to start on the journey of using true-life stories to reach out to people in their challenges and struggles in life and letting them know they are not alone.

I have decided to start with mine and take you on the journey that is my life

I shall share with you those moments, time and events that brought me here today.

The title of my story is “South West 1”.

I still intend to change it though when it becomes a book, God willing.

And it’s going to be in series, so keep watching out and subscribe to my newsletter to stay updated.

The First Episode is Titled “I Shall Not Die” Please, Read on

I am cursed. I am not sure of much for now but of this one fact; I am cursed. And by the time you finished reading my story, you would believe me.

This was my first thought when I came to, I was not sure of that too. All I knew at first was the sun was bright, and fierce, intending to scorch.

It was searing, everything was hot my body was ready to combust. However, I was cold too, somewhere within I could feel a weird chill clutching my heart.

The noise was too much, too loud; so many people speaking, screaming in one voice but different tongues.

I couldn’t get up, couldn’t move anything, save my right hand.

Some parts of me were missing, numb or malfunctioned. The first on my list was my waist downward. I couldn’t feel it.

Later, I was with my sisters; we were sitting outside, chatting and laughing. I do not understand what we were laughing about.

Then I was in our backyard arguing with my brother. He became upset walked in and banged the door after him. I hissed and stormed into the kitchen.

The kitchen transported me back to the street, I looked up and saw Tope. He was my childhood friend, I hadn’t seen him in six years.

The last time I saw him I hadn’t seen him in ten years. Six years ago was in Ife at Adventist School of Nursing.

I was standing at the gate and then I saw him, but I only waved at him because I couldn’t stop to talk to him.

I was heartbroken. Dumped all over again by the guy who disappeared with my heart three years before.

He called me that day to tell me why he broke up with me.

I had spent those years thinking it was all my fault. I should be relieved that it was not my fault after all but I wasn’t. My heart was being smashed all over again.

That was the last time I saw Tope until that day on the street where I wanted to buy Daniel Defoe “Robinson Crusoe”. We hugged and exchanged pleasantries.

Then I was back home with my younger sister. She wanted to come with me to the campus to print her project work.

It would be cheaper there.

Everything became bright again, and hot.

A bizarre thought crept into my head; something had sliced me into two.

Everything froze at that moment. I felt something warm trickling out of somewhere between my thighs.

It was oozing in a strange beat, the same with my heart as if it was being pumped by my heartbeat.

A nightmare was my next thought, I needed to wake up, but I couldn’t move, every breath was like the last.

Something terrible is wrong with me; I had no idea what. I wanted to cry but no tears. I was as dry as clay soil in the harmattan.

Maybe I died and landed in hell. That would explain the noise and the absence of anybody to help or tell me where I was.

Nobody came, there were so many people, voices everywhere but no one to help. I felt so tired, thirsty terrified.

“I am going to die or I am dead already, and in hell! But why is my mouth filled with sand and stones?”

I felt like I was hit or pinned down by something. A strong, cold hand gripped my throat and clutched my heart; it was fear.

Night was beckoning fast though the sun was still shining so bright and fiercely hot. I was not ready for its embrace.

 “I am not going to die here,” I said to myself, “not yet, not on the street like a dog.

I’ll see my family and say goodbye to them. I’ll find out what happened to me. ” I said to the bright sun and the looming night.

I have no idea why I had the thought that I was not yet dead.

However, the thought gave me hope and this gave me strength.

A dark shape appeared above and blocked what little light I had left to see, then it spoke. (To Be Continued)

Changing Lives With True-Life Stories

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A Letter to Human Race

Letter To Human Race

Dear mankind,


This is my first letter and might as well be my last letter you.

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In previous years you had paid less attention to things around you. I choose to write to you at a time like this so you can have a better understanding and importance of the message I am sending to you.

Ever since the break out of the covid 19 pandemic, I believe that you have come to realize that nothing is more important than the life we breathe in.

A Letter To Human Race
A Letter To Human Race by Ayobami Samuel Ogunola

Nothing is more important than our lives. Even though ;

   Whether white or black, rich or poor, literate or illiterate, good looking or ugly, famous or anonymous; none of this matters to us at a time like this. Because our thinking have become uniform. 
We all think of how to put an end to this pandemic, we all care about how to survive the night to live to see the next day.


   Once upon a time, I was a slave master enslaving many races around the globe. 

I forgot we all belong to the same human race. All I care about is to be a notable slave merchant. 
If I had known a time like this would come when the earth will seize to move, I would have been kinder to other human race.
I would have shown more respect to other races and clans around me. I wouldn't have lived as a racist because now I have to take the same vaccine with those I had looked down on. 
What if they have the cure, will I survive this if they decide to pay me back for my deeds? 



   I remember when I was rich, I never paid attention to the poor whenever they approached me to beg for alms. 
I believe the world I live in is different from theirs and nothing would bring us together. 
I travelled to get treatment abroad anytime I have a slight fever but now I have to share the same hospital beds with the poor people I never paid attention to. 
Lying down with them on same sick beds sharing the same thoughts on how to over come this. I never knew a day like this would come. 

   I remember the days I became a public figure because I was adorned with this heavenly beauty. I became center of attraction to people, my cosmetics are different and specially made. 
I never imagined a time like this would come when I would have to use the common nose masks those who are not as pretty as I am are making use of. 

  When it comes to the question of our life none of this matters to us, we only think about living the next day.

We are are suffering
We can’t get our three square meals
We can’t chase our dreams
We can’t ride exotic cars
We can’t buy our dream mansion
We can’t fly in planes
We can’t go for beauty contest
We can’t take part in talent show.

But none of this is important to us at a time like this. They mattered more yesterday.


All that matters now is how we overcome this deadly virus. So we can reunite with our loved ones.

No one can tell when life would switch sides, let’s be nice to those around, let’s live our lives for other people.
We shouldn’t care about ourselves alone, let’s be our brothers keeper. Let’s embrace ourselves for we are the HUMAN RACE.

Written by Ayobami Samuel Ogunsola

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How To Survive When Tragedy Strikes

Tragedy in this context is an event or occurrence causing great suffering or distress as a result of accident, loss, a natural catastrophe and so on.

It is one thing in life that no one ever prays for, wishes to know or experience.

But we do know tragedy. We do experience it. We all have, and at some point in time we all will.

Do not grudge pain. It holds on its hot blanket the evidence of life; handled and well managed, life from it takes its meaning

Olufunke Kolapo

We can say all we can do is be prepared for when it strikes. But we can never be prepared, not really.

When tragedy strikes, it knocks you off your feet and sometimes paralyses you so that you will never rise again.

It leaves you out of breath, numb, terrified, and disoriented that you can’t even remember how you got where it flung you.

And as if you never happened it whirls by in search of its next victim.

You are left in a daze, in the middle of nowhere turning in a gyre of agony and confusion.

So you say to yourself that you are not someone who gets knocked down, whose life is turned upside down, who is lost in the middle of nowhere with no compass or light to find your way to yourself.

You keep telling yourself you are not the one.

It is supposed to happen to someone else, someone without a face or name.

Someone other than you. It has happened, that is the truth.

When I was hit by a truck that took my leg and damaged my pelvis, it took me a while to accept the truth.

That I was the same person who left home that morning, the same person who had made so many plans the previous day, or the month before.

Sometimes, it still feels like a dream or another lifetime, I still imagine that I would just get up and walk without grabbing my walker, or crutches or buckle my leg on before walking.

But it is true, it is not a dream and I am not dead. I am not saying it is going to be easy because it’s not.

I am not asking you to snap out of it, to get up and move on. Or that you will get over it, because I haven’t.

Do you know why?

Whatever you have lost still remains a loss. Your job, limbs, opportunities, marriage, friendship, freedom and so on.

You can get a replacement but the tingling of the first loss remains just like phantom pain.

The person you lost is gone forever, the space they have left in your life and heart still remains vacant.

Take your time, catch your breath, you are the only one who knows how deep the hurt is, how painful the agony is. You set the pace.

Do remember though, don’t get lost in your tragedy, in your grief, don’t let the storm take you.

Cry if you must, scream if you can or if you want to. I kept it in for so long and ended up screaming in .y head. Believe me, it is unpleasant and exhausting

And remember, it is important to keep living on for as long as life gives you breath because that’s the only way they keep living on, in you, through you, your memories of them.

So, like an amputee grab those crutches or walker, fasten your leg and keep moving. Because you know it is the only way you get to move at all.

I always do that to remind myself, that as long as I’m still here, as long as I can move, I can get wherever I want.

I can be me because I am still me, just one leg short. Whenever I am down, I would move. I would get up, walk and breathe in some fresh air.

Whatever you can do that will not hurt you or someone else, if it keeps you going, keeps you hoping and living, do it.

Whatever you are doing right or that you can do to make you feel alive, make you human makes you feel you, keep doing it.

Keep moving one small step at a time; one day at a time.

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Suicide – The Greatest Act of Cowardice

SUICIDE is the greatest act of COWARDICE no one should ever consider no matter how hopeless you believe yourself to be.

Or how biggest a failure you think you are.

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I said “think” because there is always someone worse than you, someone having it more horrible than you somewhere.


Before I continue let me ask these few questions.


Have you lost your job?
Did you fail your exam?
Are you depressed?


Did your business go bankrupt?


Are you suffering from broken heart?


Are you a victim of a broken home or marriage?


If you are suffering from any of these or others that I didn’t mention and you are already thinking of committing suicide because you see it as a solution to your problems, you’re wrong.

It is not the answer.

Suicide doesn’t mean you are brave enough to take your own life but an act of cowardice. You are nothing but a coward running away from your trouble instead of facing and providing solutions to it.

” if I had no sense of humour, I would have long ago committed suicide”.

Mahatma Gandhi

This quote implies that Gandhi also passed through some tough times but he never committed suicide. He died an honourable death worth remembering.

How long have you lived that you think things can’t get back to being normal for you? What are the solutions you have explored that made you accept that your only option is to take your own life?


A lot of youths are taking the easiest way out or considering suicide every day and no one cares to know what the true causes are.


Let me ask other questions:


Have you ever heard of a street thug committing suicide?


Have you ever heard of a notorious criminal committing suicide?


The answer is NO. Why? Only those with dreams, talents, those with brilliant ideas are the ones who believe in suicide because they think their world has fallen apart because of a little challenge.

We seem to be too brilliant, we have understood the meaning of suicide which makes us think it’s the best way to be free from all our worries.


Did you ever imagine the loss you are going to cause to the world after ending your own life not to mention the pain you will cause your families and loved ones?


Suicide is cowardly, why not be courageous and face your problems.


Let me a reference on the story of Colonel Sanders the founder of Kentucky fried chicken (KFC).


When Colonel Sanders was five years old his father died, so his mother took a job peeling tomatoes in a canning factory and earned extra money by sewing at night.

Sanders had to take care of his siblings, learning how to cook so he could feed them. He held his first job at the age of ten, working on a nearby farm.

Because the family was so poor, Sanders left school after sixth grade so he could work full time. At age 17 he had already lost four jobs.


At age 18 he got married.
Between ages 18 and 22, he was a railroad conductor and failed.


He joined the army and washed out there.
He applied for law school he was rejected.
He became an insurance sales man and failed again.


At age 19 he became a father.
At age 20 his wife left him and took their baby daughter.


He became a cook and dishwasher in a small cafe.
He failed in an attempt to kidnap his own daughter, and eventually he convinced his wife to return home.


At age 65 he retired.
On the 1st day of retirement, he received a cheque from the Government for $105.


He felt that the Government was saying that he couldn’t provide for himself.
He decided to commit suicide, life wasn’t worth living anymore; he had failed so much.

Suicide -The Greatest Act of Cowardice


He sat under a tree writing his will, but instead, he wrote what he would have accomplished with his life. He realised there was much more that he hadn’t done. There was one thing he could do better than anyone he knew. And that was how to cook.


So he borrowed $87 against his cheque and bought and fried up some chicken using his recipe, and went door to door to sell them to his neighbours in Kentucky.


Remember at age 65 he was ready to commit suicide.


But at age 88 Colonel Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) Empire was a billionaire.


Moral of the story: Attitude.

It’s never too late to start all over. If Sanders could realise at age 65 that there are a lot of things he could get done, what’s your excuse at your 20s,30s,40s to start thinking about the end?

If Sanders had committed suicide we won’t have KFC to stay. Stop thinking about suicide but think about the loss you’re about to bring to the world and your family with your death.

Think about all the things you can do, all you haven’t done that could make a difference.


MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT’S ALL ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE. NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS.


You have what it takes to be successful. Go for it and make a difference. No guts no glory. It’s never too old to dream.
Suicide is not a solution, don’t opt for it.

Written by Ayobami Samuel Ogunsola
© The Pen

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10 TV Series You Can Watch During This Quarantine

TV series or shows is one of the biggest ways you can entertain yourself or others. Or even spend some alone time without being alone.

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I know you are itching to get out there go back to work, finish your projects and even reunite with all the people you are missing.

I am too.

But we cant do that yet. we need to stay home to stay healthy and remain alive.

Therefore, I have made a list of 10 TV series you can watch or watch all over again. This is for you if you are ready to escape for a while from this present uncanny reality.

The Last Air Bender

I know you might think this for kids. Yes, it seems so. But what better way to get through this period that would make you feel young again.

This is a show that can transport you from this dreadful time to another place even for a while. And the best part, you can watch with your kids. In here, the world is divided into four elements, there are those who can bend each of the four elements and one person who must learn to bend them all. The safety of everyone depends on it.

You can watch on Amazon Prime Video or get here

The Vampire Diaries:

TV Series To Watch

Although I watched this TV Series a while ago. I have started watching it again to fill up all the extra time and I-want-to-scream time at home.

There are eight seasons and 22 episodes in each season. Did I hear a Wow?

Well, you can’t run out of something to watch with this.

Watch here. This is where it all began.

The Originals:

10 TV Series To Watch During This Quarantine

This is one of my favourite show ever. And it is also a spin-off of the Vampire Diaries. If you enjoyed TVD, I am sure you would love the Originals. You must have fallen in love or curious about them enough to wonder how they came to be.

I watched The Originals for the second time last year. I think it would be perfect for this period because it promises to take you far away from here to a world where Vampires, Werewolf and eery other things you only hear about in folktales are real.

More so, it is all about family, which is why I love it. Family is forever, this is one thing we all must have come to realise by now that we have plenty of time to spend around one another or away from one another.

Klaus is my favorite and then Elijah. Yes I know Klaus is the devil but still always there when his family needs him. Even sacrificed himself for them for years.

I’ll wait for your comment here and your favorite Michaelson.

Stranger Things

You are going to love Stranger Things. It is a great TV series. The storyline and characters you will fall in love with.

It is intense, suspense filled, can be creepy which might make it not suitable for kids.

Although it features kids mostly, it is targeted at the adult audience. I love the courage and friendship the theme is built around.

Legacies

It is the latest of The Vampire Diaries Spin-off. I’m adding it here in case you love the first two series like me.

Legacies follow Hope Michaelson, Klaus’ daughter who gave his life and everything for. Although Legacies promises nothing of the continuation from The Originals, there are still references to characters from TVD and The Originals. And some have appeared already

But fear not, Legacies is not a continuation of either of the first two. So you don’t miss anything if you decide to watch it first.

Jane The Virgin:

This is one great TV series of desire a jolly and hilarious yet educating escape during this quarantine.

The show starts with an accidental pregnancy of the lead actress. It later moves towards family, bonds, loyalty, betrayal, love, and lots more. It is a great one for lovers of shows that have concluded like me.

I don’t really like waiting…

Greys Anatomy:

This is one show that can keep you busy for a very long time. It is for lovers of medicals and its personnel’s.

You will surely fall in love with the doctors, bond with them, and even cry with them as they struggle to unite or separate their personal life from their jobs and their patients.

I have included it here because it might help us appreciate our care givers more.

The Good Place:

I have this here for lovers of comedies. It is the best one in a while. You find yourself navigating afterlife with Kristen Bell. And I can assure you, you might end up wondering how it is going to be for you or if you will actually get one.

One Tree Hill:

I fell in love with this show and I have watched it thrice. It is about the lives of some teens in the fictional town of Tree Hill. It is packed with teen drama, love, life, ambition, betrayal, family bonds.

It has them all and will keep you busy for a while.

10 TV Series You Can Watch During This Quarantine

Homecoming:

This is for all the lovers of dark and mixture of the dark and the hilarious. You will definitely love this series. And if you already do, you can watch again.

It stars Julia Roberts and base on a mysterious facility that helps soldiers make the transition back to civilian life.

You can add more to this list. i would love more suggestions of tv shows to watch and im sure many would too.

You can register for free trial to watch movies on Amazon here

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Movie Posters from wallpapercave.com

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It’s My Birthday: A Toast To 40 Years

It’s my birthday today! I had made a lot of plans for today. But due to restrictions on movement and social distancing, I can’t do much.

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My birthday was just a remembrance of my arrival into the world until 2012,

I was always grateful to be alive but it never went farther than that.

However, April 2012 made it more than just a birthday.

I woke up to a brand new world that day. I opened my eyes when they were wheeling me into the theatre.

They lifted me onto the bed, propped up on two pillows, and supported by a doctor and one anaesthetist when we got into the theatre.

“Do you remember what happened?” I was not sure, so I didn’t say anything.

“You were in an accident, you were hit by a truck. You should see your leg before we proceed into surgery. We want you to see, okay”.

I nodded.

But I couldn’t sit. My head kept wobbling and my back refused to cooperate.

When I finally looked down and saw my leg or what was left of it, I was forced out of my drugged state.

It was horrible, although it didn’t register much then.

I couldn’t eat meat for two years. My heel was almost ripped off. I could see the bones in the openings where the flesh were torn off, ragged.

I woke up two days later. And got home four months later a brand new person with a brand new life.

And so I was reborn again on my birthday

Since then I started celebrating my Birth and Rebirth on my birthday.

A Toast To 40 Years

Because I got a new life, a second chance to live again, to try again to be better than I used to be.

Not everyone gets the chance to die and come back to life twice on the same day they were born.

So, I want you to celebrate with me again this year, my birth and rebirth.

I live to see my 40th birthday, not because I am worthy or better but because of His mercies.

I wanted to celebrate with my friends. Then I realised to be grateful, happy, thankful and sharing my story is more.

If I can inspire, motivate or uplift someone then this day would be complete. And I will be happier.

It’s my Birthday

I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, through fire and He brought me out stronger, and better.

Today, I pray for all who are in agony, distressed, depressed or their loved ones, may the Lord soothe your pain.

May He bring you out of all that bring tears to your eyes. And make you better, and stronger. So you can rise and tell the story of how you overcome.

If my story has touched or blessed you in any way, don’t forget to share.

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Posted on 
10 Most Frustrating Things About Amputation
	


			

			
							
		

	
	

		

There are lots of annoying and frustrating things about amputation, but I am only going to mention the most important ten for me.





I hereby disclose that this blog might earn a small commission from the affiliate links pointing to an item on Amazon.com at no extra cost to you. 





I am an amputee and I have been for eight years now. 





It would be eight years in exactly two days. Wow!





I can’t believe it has been that long since my amputation. Sometimes it seems like yesterday. 





Some days it seems like ages ago or another lifetime. And there are days I feel like I would wake up panting, sigh and realise it’s just a dream.





If only it could be a dream …





And that is the first frustrating thing about amputation, there are times you get confused or lost in it all, that you start wondering what is real and what isn’t





The loss of your limb feels like it didn’t really happen sometimes. Or like you had two lifetimes or more and the trauma or amputation happened in one of those past lives.





Phantom pain: This is usually the major frustration of an amputee. It can drive you crazy if you are not careful.





It is there and it is not there, itching, throbbing, gnawing like a missing limb. Like a ghost it never stops taunting, haunting and tormenting.





Yes, the missing limb. You live with its torment for as long as it wishes. Sometimes, it is my big toe nail. It would seem as if someone is pulling off its nails with pliers. 





At other times it itches and all you can do is slap, shake, pat and eventually learn to ignore.





Forgetting you are now an amputee: Yes, it is possible. You can forget that you are missing one or two limbs sometimes. And it is cruel. I have been a victim of this many times.  It never ends well.





I would forget I have only one leg left, then I’d get up in a hurry and land on my residual limb. Ouch!





No matter how well you have mastered the art of masking pain, you will howl.





It happens a lot now that I have a child. I’d get up to run to catch him or see why he screamed and I’d end up being the one screaming louder than him.





The Pity Stares: It took me a while to get used to this, until recently though. 





Whenever I’m going to a place I’ve never been before or where they never seen me. I would practise a lot of breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth.





It is all so I don’t trip from the stares. It is worse when I get out of a car, especially if people have seen my face before I step out.





I can almost heart the ohs and ahs. The way the expressions softened or changed from admiration or interest to pity or just wow. Gosh, I hate it!





Strangers asking you personal questions:  I can never get used to this. I always try to be calm and cool though.





 Some people can’t keep in their curiosity. “Do you sleep with your prosthetics on?” I do not. 





 Some are blunt, like how you bath and if you crawl sometimes 🙂





And yes, I do by the way.





Most want to know how it feels to go about in artificial leg. 





Mine feels as if I’m wearing a tight shoe, with my toes curled and cramped in the front and my heel pleading for an expansion. That is the best part.





The Lectures: Yes, you sometimes get lectures on how to live your life. It doesn’t matter if they are not amputees or never actually met one.





They read some motivational write ups or listen to them and want you to keep going on living that way. 





They have no idea that you are not always the same person you were before your limbs decided to retire untimely. 





For me, I was stuck on that road, that sunny day eight years ago for a very long time.





And whenever I hear any loud noise, my head is convinced that my body is about to be mauled again. 





How can you make them understand all that?





They always believe it is a switch and all you have to so is flip. They just can’t understand. They are trying to help but it is just what it is.





So, just keep it in, it keeps the lectures short.





Having lots of unused one foot shoes or slippers: I have so many new left shoes and slippers at home. Especially when I was new at this and still trying to get used to my new life





I bought lots of shoes, sandals, flip flops I ended up not using and lots of left foot from the ones I was able to use.





When I got tired of keeping them, I started throwing them out as soon as I got them.  At first it felt like throwing my foot away all over again. 





Now, I stopped buying slippers or sandals and wearing only shoes. It’s boring but better than keeping the lot





And when I need my right leg to get wet, I wear old shoes or slippers.










Sitting to take a bath: There are days I want to stand to bath so bad.  I can stand one leg for a while but not long enough to satisfaction





Disability story





And even then I keep swaying. Then I’d just realise it is not worth slipping  in the bathroom. So I would do the standing in my head.





Learning new and different ways to do old things: Amputation forces you to learn everything you have ever known to do in your life all over again.





You have to start from scratch. And even though you know how to do them before, you learn again and this time, harder than you can ever imagine.





Walking, climbing, sitting, even sleeping you have to start all over. At first, I had to be contented with sleeping on my back





Because of this, I had years of sleepless night. I hated sleeping on my back. Amputation taught me to.





You must have the thickest skin ever. Yes, you mist be immune to all I have mentioned above and more.





You learn to be unaffected by all the unpleasantness that comes with amputation or learn to fake it. 





Otherwise you would come off as a frustrated soul, aggressive or in need of serious therapy.





You learn to get used to the stares, strangers or even friends and families being kind to you when they don’t have to. 





I hate when I know they should be angry but don’t want to be because they feel they shouldn’t.  





You get used to the prying, rudeness, pity, lectures, sermons, hiding pains to make your loved ones happy.





You must keep on being strong and courageous no matter how exhausting it is. Because it is not just about you.





Some people need you to be stronger, and since you care about them,. You have to keep moving, crawling, hopping and doing whatever keeps you living one day at a time.





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Posted on 
I Remember- A Short Story
	


			

			
							
		

	
	

		

I remember this story when I was going to work this morning. With everything going on I couldn’t help it.





There is so much going on in the world right now that if we are  not careful, we might get sucked into the anxiety, panic and uncertainties around us.





As much as I want to keep writing about Coronavirus, it’s effects, updates and all. I thought it would be a relief to share other things like stories to help keep our minds off the serious issues. 





It would make our stay at home a little fun





I first published this story on African Writer four years ago.





 I was thinking about this social distancing, isolation, quarantine and remember how they have been a part of my life for eight years until recently.





Then I remember how it all began. So, I decided to share the story here too. If it is not here, this blog is not complete. 





I Remember by Olufunke Kolapo





I hereby disclose that this blog might earn a small commission from the affiliate links pointing to an item on Amazon.com at no extra cost to you. 





So let me tell you the story of how it all began …





I remember her eyes. There was something eerie about them. I can almost see her now like I did four years ago. 





She was dark and thin, but there was strength in those eyes, in their depth; the way she blinked and widened them… I still get goose bumps whenever I remember them. 





She was feeble but her upper arms were strong; thin but steady like her icy eyes.





I was about to jump into the waiting cab when our eyes met. Mine held, even when hers dropped to straighten her floral skirt.





 I hardly stare or take much notice of strangers but for some reason, I was glued to that spot. 





I was frozen. Now, when I think of it, I still have no idea why I paused.





When she looked up, I looked away, embarrassed like a child caught peeping through a key hole. 





Then I saw a young man, maybe her brother, judging from the same set of full upper lips and oversized nose; he looked worn out in dirty jeans and a faded t-shirt as he held her wheelchair. 





I stepped back to give him room, just realising then that I was blocking the cab. 





I couldn’t stop myself from watching their well mastered performance of moving her from the car to the chair. 





How she folded and shrank her body into a ball, her hands hugging her chest to make it easier for him to lift her into the wheelchair. 





I was enthralled. 





Then our eyes met again. I turned and hurried on to get another cab even as the driver was calling me to come back. 





As I was about to step onto the cab, I glanced back and our eyes met, again. Hers hardened and then widened, with contempt? I have no idea. 





I wondered why at first, then I realised she must find it irritating. I wished then that I could show her my thoughts. Or maybe she was offended that I didn’t take the cab? I sighed and closed the door.





I tried not to look to my right as I rode to lecture, but I couldn’t stop my head from wandering to her. 





I pictured her bathing, dressing, growing from girlhood to womanhood. 





I wondered if she had a boyfriend. Will she have children, know the joy of motherhood? Then I saw another boy hopping on one leg and a wooden crutch. 





I wondered what happened to him too; was he born that way, or in an accident? How does he survive each day knowing tomorrow would be the same? 





What does he do when in danger? Who looks out for him? Who takes care of them all?





I had so many questions in my head as we drove on. How do one live on knowing you can hardly live or do anything by yourself without help from someone else.





I am an independent person. I love being able to do things on my own and by myself. Would I ever be able to live that way? Would I be able to go on knowing it would be like that everyday?





I didn’t have to wait for long to find out, as I didn’t return to my home or bed until four months later. 





I spent those months in a surgical ward with a front row view watching “Behind the Scenes of an Amputee’s Life”.





Now, I know. 





Because it is my life now. And I am still in it.





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